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My pants tell me when I am gaining weight, who the hell needs a scale?
 

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Bananas arent my favorite, but they are the most versatile/efficient fruit. I like oranges... but its a bitch to peel them and they get messy. Apples are ok, but a bit lackluster. Kind of noisy too. Im an on the go type of fruit eater.
 

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If it takes me more than 30 seconds to type in the quick reply box... is it still a quick reply?
 

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4 cylinder malibus are downright dangerously slow. (got one 2011 with 381 miles on it as a loaner today). It like turbo lag, but the turbos never kick in. Floor it. Wait....wait....wait....wait...wait...take off with all the speed of a snail and raucus of a garbage disposal.
 

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Every 2nd Matters
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The individual worker termites can live to upwards of a month, whereas the queen (large sausage-like egg layer) can live upwards of 10 years!!!.
 

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Curfews are funny.
 

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wheels side by side is usually for heavy loads
 

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^ I shall call you "helmet head"

That really was my thought
 

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I am going to MMA fights tonight with my son and one of his friends. Have cageside wristbands. Hope I get some spit, blood, or tears on me.
 

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Toilet paper is not for toilets, its for butts. I will start calling it butt paper.
 

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I I think I have a slow leak in my left front tire
 

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Is it still best to let sleeping dogs lay if thats all they do?
 

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I think you should have that dog checked by a vet if thats all it do. Unless its a very old dog
 

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Butt and butter sound similar, yet are very different.
 
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